Still guarding asses!!

I was having a very peaceful breakfast… Dad walks in and

Dad: Can you order 50 shades of grey for me!!!

Me:

OMG! Why an intelligent man like you wants to read such a horrible book?? (I went on and on about how badly it’s written and it’s better to give the money to some charity)

Dad: Okay! How do you know it’s badly written?

Me:

Hmmmm…..I … read … some …articles .. about it. Yes i read some articles. But why on earth do you wanna read it??

Dad: Oh! The newspapers have been raving about it…. I was curious. So will you order it for me?

Me:

Dad: walks away

That was THE most awkward breakfast of my LIFE!!! I’m not letting Dad buy that piece of shit, even if I have to monitor his purchases!!! 

PS: Dear Local Newspapers, Just because something is super popular in US that doesn’t mean it’s good. Stop with the stupid articles!!!

Today at the movies three guys were discussing 50 shades of grey. They were going ga-ga over it and how sexy the series is!!

Seriously when will this madness stop ???

thethirdreel:

stop combining tom and 50 shades of grey.

s t o p 

LADIES PLEASE!!! HE HAS CLASS AND 50 SHADES IS NOTHING BUT SHIT!!!

decaffeinate-o:

carry-on-my-wayward-castiel:

hard-y-addicted:

inceptingtonystark:

I tried to tell her, truly I did. I told her all about the twilight fanfic and excessive use of the word “there” but she wasn’t convinced. I told her “Mum, the internet is literally laughing at you and your choices” and her response was:

“Maybe all those young girls on the internet just feel threatened because they’re not used to seeing or reading things with sexual content like that”

It feels soooooooooo good to read a book with PROPER STORY and GRAMMAR. My “50 shades of shit” days are over. Those were dark very dark times

The Universal Truth

E L James can’t write a decent (no pun intended) book. Even the so-called sexy scenes are not sexy. We find much better action on fanfiction written by 14 year olds. AAAAAAA….. this book is making me so angry. Bad Characterization. Poorly written. HORRID!!!

The management, editors and the marketing team of  Random House publishing should be ashamed of themselves. What happened to quality?? And why is hollywood so eager to make a movie on this piece of crap? Apparently, money is the only thing that matters. 

Dear Lord

The mindless contract details and stupid email exchanges ……. It’s sooooooooooooooooooooooo boring 

What The Fuck Did I Just Read - Part 2

In a so-called sexy scene Ass is referred as Backside.. Behind.  Condom is called foil packet!! Vagina THERE .. THERE!!! You have a problem in using correct terminology??!!

I threw up while reading the thumb sucking scene. No Kidding

I need to take a bath!!!

Upcoming attractions:

• Oral lessons
• Bad Writing
• Poor Grammar  

What The Fuck Did I Just Read

• Katherine Kavanagh *somebody slap the shit out of her*
• He cocks his head to one side. *if i have to read this sentence once more … i’m gonna break the laptop. I swear to lord*
• Murdered the word “wayward” for me 
• medulla oblongata  *how about i puch you in Sorghastrum Endometrium*
• through my lashes *does Ana has Rapunzel lashes*

My adventures of “50 shades of shit” ends for the day with a lyrical line from the book 

….. and my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba.

I’m gonna board the sinking ship AGAIN!!! Will be finishing 50 shades of stink. Why? Coz i hate myself (but really i’m free as a bird)